Roma

Last week we visited Rome for the third time. After we visited a few years ago we both fell in love and both wanted to bring our parents to visit! This trip we visited with Lina's parents and stayed in a small apartment just south of the Colloseum. The weather was beautiful and we had plenty of time so also visited a park for an afternoon and were able to see all if the major sites. Lina and I also had a lot of time for people watching while her parents were exploring different tourists spots :) Here are a few of my phone pics from the trip, as always it was inspiring to be in such a historic and beautiful city!

Sunny at the Panteon

Piazza Novana

The Colleseum

San Pietro Piazzo

The view from our apartment

Pont Sant'Angelo

View over Rome

Smiles :)

Lunch outside in the beautiful little streets on our last day

Ode to gelato

This week we've been wandering in Rome, Italy with Lina's parents. I'll have plenty of pictures to share but first wanted to share our love of the great Italian treat :)

Out first taste was in the Piazza Navona...

Then we had a bite at the Colloseum...

And Lina and her parents had some in the park...

Then we found our favorite so far!!

Had a bit with the pope...

And some more in St. Peter's Square

And our last bit of heaven was just before a walk up a hill to see beautiful Rome!

All in all I think we painted the town with delicious Italian ice cream :) 

Ps- yes dad, this entire post was to make you jealous ;) 

Summertime in NYC

On our way back from our vacation in Wisconsin we got to spend a few days exploring New York City. We've been a couple of years ago during christmas time but this trip was completely different. We decided not to have many things on our list to see and instead take it slow and try to experience the atmosphere and vibe of the city.

We were lucky to have a friend to share her apartment with us for a few days! This allowed us to better get to know the city with her first hand knowledge as well as explore a different part of the city as she lived in Washington heights in the north of Manhattan. 

What was more evident to me on this trip was the huge disparities in incomes and how people lived. We arrived in to NY at night and changed buses in Harlem. As it was a hot summer day many people were sitting on the front stoops and children were playing on the sidewalks. It felt like we had stepped into a film! It was great to get to see the diversity and vibrancy of the different neighborhoods but equally saddening to see how huge the gap is between the rich and the poor in this city.

We left Manhattan for a bit to explore Prospect park in Brooklyn and were surprised about how much we missed grass and space after a day of wandering in Manhattan. The park wasnt extraordinary and we walked a bit too much but we were happy to get to wander around a bit and get a feel of where my sister was living for awhile. 

We walked across the Brooklyn bridge and rode on the Staten Island Ferry, we searched for China Town, had an amazing Mexican dinner at a friend's restaurant, and visited the Stonewall Inn. Two things that really stood out for both of us was the 9/11 Memorial and the High Line park.

The 9/11 Memorial was really beautifully made. I wasn't sure what to expect but was incredibly impressed with the fountains. There were two enormous fountains made into the ground where the towers once stood. It really impacted me to see the space and how the water seemed to disappear far below. I felt that the artists who created the memorial really created a space for reflection and emotion that everyone could relate to. I feel emotional now thinking of standing there touching the names of so many lost

and thinking about the tragedy that broke so many hearts. 

The High Line was a totally different but equally New York experience. Lina and I both fell in love with this urban park built on an old train line. It felt like a place with some breathing room in an otherwise gray and concrete landscape. There were loads of exotic plants, places to rest and chill, and interesting bits of art all along the way. We took our time exploring and taking pictures and it was definitely one of out favorite parts! 

All in all, on this trip we impressed ourselves by not shopping, not exploring anything super touristy, and really just spending our time taking photos, journaling, wandering, and being together! At the end we were ready to sleep in our own bed and get reaquainted with Brighton. I loved our time in Wisconsin and NY and look forward to our next American trip :) 

Autumn arrives

Summertime has passed and Brighton has become largely gray and foggy and life is both speeding up and settling down. A couple weeks ago we came back from two great weeks in Wisconsin and New York. It was busy but full of lots of little adventures and family time. It was a nice mixture of home time and tourist time in NY. 

Travelling has a way of showing you new things, remembering moments of your past, and showing you what is great about your current home and life. I'm not sure where this journey will take me but I do know that I'm happy right now.

The past few weeks have brought up lots of memories of LaCrosse and the people that meant a lot to me then and now. It's reminded me of how much time has passed but also how much that time shaped me. I got to visit the campus, spend some time at riverside park, and help my little sister move into the city that  I loved. Kristen came to visit on her European tour and it was really great to reconnect. It's good to be reminded of how important it is to keep in touch with the important people in your life. 

Now to move confidentially into the future... I've started working full time and my workload is expanding in interesting but overwhelming ways. I'm still volunteering and am learning more about working with young people. Our closest friends are leaving the UK for new Italian adventures which is both sad and exciting. We're visiting Rome next moth with Lina's parents and look forward to a relaxing trip and good food :) 

I'll post about our holiday soon and try to be better about posting and connecting with all of you that I care about!  

Becky lately

I realize that I've been pretty slack in updating over the past months, so I thought I'd share a bit of an update for my friends and family afar :)

Summertime in Brighton is great. It's so different to be living by the seaside when the weather is nice. Surprisingly we have had nearly a month of hot summer weather! We took advantage of the warm weather to spend lots of time outside either at the beach, at a music festival, and a weekend away in Cornwall.

Work life has been good but busy as of late. In my main role, as a domestic abuse caseworker, I'm settling in and have been here for about 4 months. Working as an outreach worker is really different than my previous roles and I have  a lot to learn but I'm liking it a lot. As this role isn't full time (30 hours a week) I'm doing a few bits on the side. I'm working as a relief worker (someone they call to cover shifts if someone is sick or one leave) at the young person's homeless hostel and also at a young mothers homeless hostel. I've been getting more shifts lately which is positive and there is not a lot of pressure as I am a casual staff member :) I am also doing some small shifts at a community centre in Brighton but am still feeling out if I like it and want to stick with it or not. I've found it interesting to do a couple different roles rather than just one full time post and am enjoying the flexibility of it.

A big change for us over the past couple of months is that we moved house. It was kind of a stressful time for us because we weren't finding a place that was perfect for our needs in our price range and we had already given our notice to the flat we were living in. Although a bit nerve-racking with finding places and missing out of them for one reason or another... we eventually found a pretty perfect place for less than we were paying before. We're now living very centrally in a flat with a lot of character. We are still trying to get settled in and need to buy bits and pieces but are really liking the process of making it our own. It's a different, and loud, experience living in the centre of town but we are really liking being so close to everything and only a couple of blocks away from the beach!

We recently went to Cornwall, England for a long weekend of cycling, camping, tipis, and to attend our friends' beautiful wedding. It was our first time in Cornwall and we enjoyed being out in the countryside and going to the seaside. I'll write more about our trip later with more pics!

We also went to the Gentleman of the Road Stopover festival in Lewes, a few miles away from Brighton. It was a two day festival that Mumford and Sons organized. We had great weather and there was a really great atmosphere at the festival. We definitely enjoyed the music and all of the quirky bits that they had around. 

Now I'm looking forward to Brighton Pride tomorrow. It's our first time being here for pride since we moved down! I'm going to be walking in the parade with a young peoples' LGBT organization I volunteer with and it will be a blast :) My first time walking in a pride parade! and we're also getting really excited about going to Wisconsin and NYC in a few weeks! 

So there's our quick update but I really hope to be updating more regularly and sharing photos and creative things as well! don't be afraid to leave me a comment :)

love

Becky

Feeling creative!

The past few months I've been exploring my creativity by trying out different painting/watercolor techniques and lots of playing with black markers! I've had fun making cards and presents and here's a picture I made for my sister Rachel's birthday....

I'm inspired by a few different blogs and am trying to find my style... I'll keep you updated :)

Welcoming back the sun

 

 

Living in Exile- Lesbianfamily.com

I submit our story to Lesbian Family for a Lawfully Wedded Life series they are posting every week this spring and this week they posted it! There are so many people in the LGBT community who have similar stories and many more that didn't have the opportunities that we do and we need to keep this issue at the forefront. You can read the story on Lesbian Family here or just look below! 

Living in Exile

All of us know that love tends to find you when you least expect it. I would never have thought that for me it would come in the form of a Lithuanian girl in small town Wisconsin. Our story starts when we were both twenty years old working at a family restaurant in a tourist town. Neither of us knew what would happen at the end of that summer when we both returned to our respective universities but we lived each day to the fullest. At the end of that summer we had a tearful goodbye unsure of where our futures would lead.

Last month Lina and I celebrated our five year wedding anniversary. We had a Civil Partnership in London, England in a small ceremony with our close friends. Lina and I are a binational couple and due to the inequalities in the United States federal laws it wasn’t possible for Lina and I to be together in the USA. I was forced to make the decision to leave the only place that I have called home or to leave the woman I love. After leaving college in I applied for a student work visa and moved to London. When I moved to the UK I was sure that I would be here less than five years. I had faith that the American people and government would catch up with much of the rest of the world and grant equal rights to same-sex couples. This summer I will have been in the UK for six years.

Having a Civil Partnership in the UK grants a person equal rights in all areas except a ceremony cannot be held in a church. It’s looking like soon same-sex marriage will also be legal and we could apply to have our civil partnership transferred to be a marriage. Having the right to have a Civil Partnership granted me the ability to immigrate to the UK. When we have children, both of our names will be on the birth certificate without jumping through any extra hoops or going through any adoption procedures.

A couple of years ago I stumbled upon the term ‘exile’ in relation to binational same-sex couples. Before then although it was clear that I was living abroad due to discrimination I hadn’t actually thought about the fact that I was forced to live in exile. It’s astounding that I, an American born and raised, am currently living in exile due to my sexual orientation.

Recently the need for equality for same-sex couples in immigration has been in the national news. It has made us beyond happy that this issue is finally brought to the forefront in the LGBT community as well as to the US on the whole. There are so many couples torn apart or living with the fear of deportation because of the lack of federal acknowledgment of LGBT rights. There are couples like us living in exile throughout the world, thousands of Americans forced to leave their county because of discrimination and prejudice.

Living thousands of miles and an ocean away from home has been difficult. Lina and I will soon be ready to have children and expand our family. The thought that my parents may only be able to see my children once or twice a year is heartbreaking for me.

In America and most countries around the world a couple’s rights are earned through the legal act of marriage. These rights may include benefits, property rights, ability to make healthcare decisions, rights as a non-biological parent, or right to immigration status in the country of your partner. Some American states have granted equal rights to LGBT couples through marriage or domestic partnerships but all of this is still at a state level. America needs federal laws which support same-sex couples. As long as marriage is the vessel for so many important rights the fight for same-sex marriage needs to be a huge part of our activism as a community.

In our family although marriage is a romantic statement we made to each other and to show the world our love, Marriage is first and foremost the opportunity which gave us equal rights and the ability to be together.

For more information and resources about immigration equality for the LGBT community visit http://immigrationequality.org/

The Happiness Project

I recently finished The Happiness Project by Gretchen Ruben. I started it months ago but put it down at some point for another fictional novel. I was really happy I picked it up again the other day. It was just what I needed at the right time.

Gretchen writes about a year long project that she planned and carried out. She did loads of research and reading and decided to spend each month of the year on different areas of her life such as her home, her parenting, her work, and her hobbies. Her plans were carefully based on happiness research and theories.

What I liked about this book is that it is very down to earth. She tries out different ways to change her ways of thinking and takes different chances she wouldn't ordinarily have taken. She doesn't have back story and her life is one that most of us would love to have but she wasn't as happy as wanted to be. It's a story about a regular woman making practical changes in her life to live more positively.

I also liked that it had tips and exercises and she shared her charts and how to set up your own happiness project. The book is easy to read, accessible, and I felt I got a lot of out of it. 

Gretchen started a blog as part of this project that she still updates regularly at www.happiness-project.com and she also released a further book, Happier at Home, last year. 

Some new starts...

The past few months have been a whirlwind full of changes. It's been a roller coaster of emotions for me but more and more I'm realizing how positive these changes have been on my life.

In the beginning of January I returned early from our Lithuanian trip to go to a job interview with a women's organization in Brighton. I blanked a bit in the interview and wasn't originally offered the job. Luck would have it that one of the people who were offered the role turned it down so a couple of weeks later I got the job. It was pretty difficult to deal with my emotions at the time of failure, of leaving a job I was comfortable with, in taking a risk financially by taking the new job, and generally in stepping out of my comfort zone. I've noticed in the past years that I've unfortunately become more adverse to change. I do wish I was more of the girl today that got on an airplane with two luggage and moved her life to the UK.

All in all, taking that risk and taking the new role has been just what I needed. Immediately after making the decision I knew that my time was up working for Refuge. I hadn't admit to myself that for awhile already I hadn't been challenged and was lacking motivation in my current role. I wasn't able to make any lasting friendships with my colleagues and I had really stagnated where I was. I suppose it's always easier to see the cracks and imperfections in your life from a couple of steps back. These realizations made it much simpler for me to step away from Refuge and have my fresh start.

I have also been offered a job working for a young people's foyer as a Relief Support Worker. It is just what I need at the moment as it is a flexible role which I also think that I can learn a lot from. The organization is very client-focused and the residents are engaged and I hope to start in the next few weeks!

As usual with life when you open yourself up for new things you get more than you bargain for. Working in Brighton has already bettered my wellbeing by having more time. I no longer spend 3 hours a day commuting to and from work and this change has given me more time to spend with Lina, to sleep, and to eat properly. It's also given me plenty of time to think about what I want in my life and what makes me happy. It's given me time to finally join the gym and get more involved in what is going on in Brighton. Now I just have to make sure to make the most of my time and keep the momentum going.

I have loads more to say about life at the moment but I'll leave it at that for now. Despite my fear of change I can acknowledge that it brings opportunities that you were not even aware of and I really hope that I can use it the best I can!