Election 2012

I've kept mostly quiet about the presidential election this year. There is no doubt that everyone knows who I will support and where my political leanings lie.  This is by no means meant to be the most informed article about the upcoming election but instead is about my personal sadness about the direction the USA has been heading in terms of social issues.

Reading the news, polls, debates, and friend's facebook opinions, I find myself falling further and further in despair about the state of my country. The fact that there is a chance that such a conservative, bigoted candidate has a chance of becoming president is just mind boggling to me.

There has been a lot of talk about Mitt Romney, and the Republican Party on the whole, taking huge steps backwards about women's rights. Politicians have tried to make decisions about women's ability to choose what to do with their bodies as well as what opportunities women have in terms of their own sexual health. Mitt Romney has made comments in debates about women needing flexible working hours so they are able to cook dinner and take care of the children. It is astounding that we are in the year 2012 and our nations leaders are still trying to keep women in the kitchen and popping out children.

In regards to LGBT rights and same-sex marriage Mitt Romney's website says "As president, Mitt will not only appoint an Attorney General who will defend the Defence of Marriage Act – a bipartisan law passed by Congress and signed by President Clinton – but he will also champion a Federal Marriage Amendment to the Constitution defining marriage as between one man and one woman." Mitt Romney on his values These sort of comments make me really upset on a personal level as well as deeply sad for my country. Not only does Mitt Romney want to defend DOMA (as of course marriage needs to be defended from the gays) he wants to make sure that discrimination is written into the FEDERAL constitution. The same constitution that was made in the name of freedom. This man could be the president of the United States of America. My heart is breaking. 

How is Ann Coulter allowed in our media? How could she possibly have such a huge following? I can't say anything more to this without getting insanely angry but please take a look at these articles which give me a little bit of hope. A Special Olympian's response to Ann Coulter's tweet Ann Coulter's response to National Coming Out Day

In addition to the presidential election, there are also of course state elections. Four states will have same-sex marriage on the ballots. Three of these (Maine, Washington, and Maryland) are hoping for marriage equality and the fourth (Minnesota) is trying to stop a marriage ban from being written into the state constitution. These state ballots are so important because state by state we will win this. One day our federal government will have to stand up and say that the LGBT community deserve equal rights... and realize how behind the times the USA is compared to so many countries around the world. Please check out this blog who are campaigning on behalf of these four states. Also, this article by Buzzfeed. 

Reading these stories and watching the videos makes me so incredibly emotional. It may be closed minded of me but I CANNOT understand how people do not believe that every person deserves equal rights. My heart physically hurts to think of so many couples who are not allowed to visit their partner in the hospital, struggle for rights to benefits, who are separated because of lack of immigration rights.... so many rights. Although this wasn't the life I would have originally chose for myself I am so thankful to be living in a country where I have the same rights as straight couples, so thankful. 

Experiencing an election from outside of the USA is different than the constant immersion of political ads, news, opinions, and discussion. Living outside of the the United States, or even travelling abroad, gives you perspective. It shows you how the US and Americans are seen by the rest of the world. It also shows how different countries and cultures work and run and you are able to see what works better or worse or just differently. When speaking to to my British friends and colleagues about LGBT rights, women's rights, welfare initiatives, health care, or a plethora of other issues they are astounded about how far behind the US really is in so many ways. The USA was always known to be the front runner, pushing boundaries, the country of opportunities but this is changing.

I know this is a jumble of thoughts but these are emotional topics. People who say politics are not interesting or voting won't change anything or think that the next president, governor, or senator will not make a difference to your lives, think again. Our government is constantly shaping social issues that effect each and every one of our daily lives. 

Vote. Be Active. Learn. Speak Up. 

Believe in happy

Believe in happy by prawkp on Polyvore

Rainy Sunday Inspiration

Affirmation Stones and Creativity

Over the past few weeks I've been starting to re-explore my creativity. Recently I read a post on The Wholehearted Life about painting affirmations on stones for your home and garden.  It's a simple and cute idea to surround yourself with love and inspiration. Since we've recently moved to Brighton we are surrounded by a beach full of interesting stones and I thought what a better time and place to give this a try. This combines my need for creativity with a connection to our new home.

Brighton beach

Painting has never been my strong suit but I found this process to be both calming and inspiring. Also I'm learning again about colors and textures which is not something I've done since school. I love feeling the connection with my new home by searching for stones from the beach and having them around us as little reminders. The process is so important because it forces me to really think about my life,how it is, and how I want it to be. I've really enjoyed how it feels to be creative again and combining this with living mindfully and positively has been a great perk!

A few of what I've completed so far!

I'm still just starting to get back into drawing and playing around with painting but am loving it so far. It's easy to forget how much creativity and inspiration can brighten your life. I hope to have more to share later!

España

This an incredibly belated post about our Spanish holiday back in May!

We stayed in a resort town of Torrelominos in the south of Spain. This was our first resort holiday and our first holiday to somewhere hot! It was delightfully different than other traveling we've been doing over the past couple years as it wasn't a rush to see as much as possible but was really centred around relaxation and sunshine. We went with Lina's parents and it was good for her to have some quality laid-back time with her parents :) Here are a few of the best pics.



Torreleminos beaches

Malaga

views from the castle above the city

Ronda

 







The Power of a Smile

Today I had a pretty great interaction with a client. We were completing some ordinary paperwork when she said to me "You're always so happy, everyday you're always smiling. It's contagious. I always smile when I see you."

This meant SO much to me. Since coming to the UK I feel as if I've lost my smile, motivation, and inspiration. I've felt a bit deflated and that my big American smile had disappeared. This sweet woman, whose struggles are exponentially greater than most, made me realize a few pretty monumental points. One, I am big biggest critic and find it difficult to see the greatness in me. Two, I am happier since we've left London and I feel more relaxed and able to enjoy my days and my work. Three, I am doing the work that I want to do. and Four, the affect that I can and do have on other's around whether it be positive or negative. Although, these are all things that I have been thinking about and may seem quite normal it has really opened my eyes again and put it all in a better perspective.

Today I've been feeling a bit low physically and emotionally but this beautiful compliment has brought a huge smile to my face and tear to my eyes. Never forget the power you have to make someone else's day.

Be Grateful

A reminder to myself... Be grateful every single day.

Zen and the Art of Happiness

I recently finished the book Zen and the Art of Happiness by Chris Prentiss. I found it recommended on The Feel Good Lifestyle. I found myself needing a bit of inspiration to keep motivated and moving forward emotionally in this time of change for me.

All in all I found that this book had it's pros and cons. The positive is that it is a great reminder of some lifelong philosophies that are needed to constantly work on your wellbeing and to be as happy as possible. It's philosophy is very much like most relating to positive thinking and new patterns of thought. In order to achieve the outcomes and progress that we want for ourselves we have to change our responses to what happens in the world around us.

The more I work at it the more I realize what a difference the way you think and react to the situations in our lives really affects your own mood and outcomes. It is definitely not easy and something that I have to constantly work at and if I don't the same negative thoughts and emotions sneak in. I'm still on my beginning of my journey and have a long way to go. This book helped to confirm and remind me how to replace the negative and depressing thoughts and why I am on this journey in the first place.

The cons would be that some of the examples are very extreme and ridiculous and difficult to relate to your own life. Also, no matter how many positive thinking or self-help time books and blogs I read I cannot give into the idea that everything happens for a reason. In the case of this book Chris Prentiss says that you have to go through your life with the expectation that everything that happens in life is for your benefit and for the greater good for the world on the whole. When I was younger I was entirely behind the idea that everything happens for a reason and I know that the difficulties as well as positive times in my life have made me the person I am today and has taught me much.What I cannot get behind is that everything has a  reason with no exceptions. There are far too many terrible things that happen in this world to good people and things like rape, abuse, murder, childhood illness and death, and extreme violence have no rhyme or reason. No one is violated or hurt for their own good.

I enjoyed the read and more and more think that it is so important to top up my knowledge, motivation, creativity, and inspiration. The day to day grind of work, commuting, and routines can get me off track and this book has been a really great reminder about putting the work in to make me the best version of me.

So, I recommend you pick up this book. It is a small quick read that puts the world in a bit better perspective and definitely makes you think.

New Life

It's early days but all of the changes seem to be working out pretty great. Over the period of a weekend I changed city, house, and job. I have to admit that there was some rough points including some tears the night before I started the new job. I felt completely overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions that just now I'm beginning to really breathe and sort through my emotions.

I really like my job so far. The atmosphere is much more positive and it truly feels like a fresh start. The role is the same but so many things about the clients, colleagues, and how the work is done is so differently that everything feels fresh. I'm taking the train to work through the British countryside... Today I hardly read my book and instead enjoyed the feeling of space with music in my ears. I'm just treasuring these moments and doing my best to keep my head in a good place.

Today I feel pretty great and I'm going to work hard to make the changes that I want for myself.
The seaside air is doing wonders!

Moving Forward

The past couple of months I've found myself closing down my creativity and journey of self-love and greater happiness. There have been a lot of things going on in my life including many visitors, holidays, and making decisions about where my life is going practically and I feel like my emotions have gotten a bit lost along the way.

At the moment I find myself confused about how has all played out because I have been surrounded by family and good friends and have visited some beautiful places but haven't allowed myself to be really inspired. I have been focusing on the reasons to literally move forward with my life but forgetting to breathe and take time to understand my own feelings and why I am doing what I am.

Now as I'm moving  into an even busier month I feel that I have physically and emotionally slowed down enough to really think about my life, my happiness, and why I really need these changes in my life. Although I'm a bit sad that those weeks have passed and I didn't appreciate and use my time and surroundings in a more positive way I am happy to say that I feel comfortable getting it out there, addressing it, and moving forward more positively.

Now for the future. In the next month I will be changing jobs and moving away from London which has been my home for the past five years. I've made a decision to step out of my comfort zone knowing that this change is what I need right now and as the days go by I become even more confident about this. Change can be such a frightening thing but more and more I'm finding the fear waning and the excitement building. I've gotten stuck where I am and although I know that a change in job or location isn't the answer to all my problems, it is definitely the change of direction and atmosphere is what my life needs now. I'm moving forward in many ways and trying to make each step a positive one.

I'm looking for some good reading about changes and moving forward and haven't found anything that has hit home just yet. If you have anything that might help please let me know!

Moving!

It's no secret that I've been in a bit of a rut for awhile both personally and professionally. It is definitely a time to  make some drastic changes because I'm losing sight of my aims and falling backwards. After spending a lot of time going back and forth with what is best for me as an individual as well as with my partner we decided to make the leap and move away from London. I've managed to secure a transfer in my current job role to the seaside and we will be moving to Brighton in the next month.

I'm really happy about this move and think that it is what I need in my life right now and of course I also have anxieties around such a big change. There is a lot to do in the next month and it will be bittersweet to leave London after 5 years but there are so many positives about moving to concentrate on.

So here's to a new journey in a new atmosphere!

Twinkle Lights

Twinkle Lights is a weekly newsletter and facebook page sharing inspiration and joyful bits of life. Chelsea is on her own journey of finding happiness and joy and wants to share what she finds with others. From what I know of her there will be some pretty great ideas to brighten our days and get us thinking.

It's just getting on its feet but seems very promising so far! Join the newsletter and like the fb page and support Twinkle Lights on it's journey to enlightenment and happiness :)

Getting out of a funk

The last few years I've really struggled with being stuck in a rut. Think more positively and making changes in my daily life have been helping although I definitely need more action in my life.

I found this this article on High Existence titled 5 Ways to Get Out of a Funk that I enjoyed because of the author's honesty and straight forward advice.

The main thing for me is addressed in #5. Get out of your head and into the world. My baby steps I've been taking so far are not enough. Time to put on my big girl shoes.

(There are some pretty great articles on High Existence if you dig around a bit!)

Global Love Letter Movement

Simon (Simon on the Sofa) is spreading the word about a Global Love Letter Movement. It's a pay-it-forwardish movement to spread love and, in effect, feelings of worthiness.

The idea is to leave a love letter addressed 'to you' in public places for someone to find and the hope is that someone will read it and it will have a positive impact on their day. I know is reality some or most of the letters will get thrown out or be read by someone whose mind might not be open to something like that at that time... but if one or two or hundreds of people's days are brightened it's worth it.

When I saw the video and read about this movement I was immediately drawn to it because it reminded me of the little things that brighten up your day... and how cold a big city can be. I have found myself changing over the years I've lived here and looking down instead of a hello or a greeting to someone else in the park or on the sidewalk. The last couple weeks I've been making a more conscious effort to not avoid eye contact and to be friendlier to strangers. The world can be a very cold and lonely place at times and little things do make a difference.

Have a look at these videos and have a think about how you would feel about finding an encouraging and love filled letter from a stranger. I hope you would be open enough to let the positive energy in and know that you are worthy of so much love. Also consider sharing your love for others and know that you can make a positive change and the ripples are endless.

(Also check out Simon on the Sofa on facebook and youtube- he's has some pretty great ideas and he works within an interesting community of people)

Struggles around staying positive...

Trying to change habits and ways of thinking that have been ingrained and fed over a period of years will never be an easy feat. When I read articles about positive thinking, attend workshops on improving your life through reflection, meditation, and changing the way you think, listen to Louise Hay speaking about affirmations, or speak to friends and family about the benefits of positive thinking I feel so inspired. I feel ready to take on the world and create a more positive, loving, and confident space for myself. Then Monday comes.

Putting my ideas and inspiration into practice has definitely been a struggle for me so far. I have all the good intentions in the world but consistently implementing this in my life hasn't been all that successful yet. It is something you have to work on every single day and ultimately every moment of every day. It is combating  negative thoughts and self-talk so effectively and efficiently that they are unable to affect you. 

Action has been my weakness now for some years now and I'm finding this the hardest habit to break. In order to make change, alter habits, and move towards a more healthy and happy lifestyle you need to act and not only write or speak about it. This hurdle is so far the most obvious and more difficult to overcome. 

Work is a big stressor and takes a lot of my energy. I have thought about this a lot and am still unable to find what it is about my role or my workplace that seems to be able to suck out every ounce of my motivation and zaps my energy by the time I leave at the end of the day. I've pinpointed that I feel trapped in the structure of the work and sometimes unending negativity that can come from the clients. But this role is not as difficult or emotionally tumultuous as the one that I did before this but I feel like it is having a more negative effect on my life as a whole. I of course am able to choose how I react to the negativity or clients or colleagues and also have the choice to stay in my current role or look for a role that challenges me more in some ways and is more aligned to the person I want to be and the lifestyle I would like to have. It's not all bad in the job or in how I am coping. I am proud of myself in implementing some new ways of thinking into my work day including taking breaks by going for walks, stepping outside for some stretching and reflection, and how I focus, prioritize and unpack my workload. I just need more for myself and need to decide if the answer is switching my job, to keep working on how I respond and think at work, or both.

In my struggles I can see glimpses of change especially in how I respond to stressors at work. But I'm not consistent or active enough to make the changes in my attitude and ways of thinking in order to get where I need and want to be. 

I'm writing this post both for reflection and to let those that care about me know that I am realistic in my journey and it is not a quick fix. Although it is not easy and I'm still not where I want to be at implementing positive thought and affirmation in my life yet I still value you the philosophies beyond measure and can see how that can help me. I will definitely keep up the baby steps and hope to soon be able to walk properly in the direction of my goals.

I've recently also found a couple more websites that I think other may like too about happiness, inspiration, and health.

Greatist

Zen Habits

Wales!

Exploring a bit of Cardiff, Mid-Wales, and Snowdownia...

Million Women Rise

When I woke up in the morning I wasn't sure what to expect of the day. I was excited for a new experience and to see friends I don't get to see very often. When we rounded the corner and saw so many women getting ready I was interested but confused and still unsure of my feelings about the whole thing. After meeting a couple women I've met through work, unexpectedly running into an old friend, and meeting the friends I was expecting and excited to see I was beginning to get in the mood for the march. But it was the moment that a group of women behind us started playing the drums that I truly felt the exhilaration and anticipation of the march....

Love yourself

the Positivity Blog

I stumbled across this blog today written by Henrik Edberg and I think it has some pretty great positivity ideas used in different ways... And he uses quotes which I love :)

Check out this post titled Gandhi's Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing the World.

Different Families and Homophobic Bullying

I recently attended a talk at my local town hall about different families. It was was part of National LGBT history month (here is the UK) and National LGBT fostering and adoption week. I was pretty excited to have such a talk in our area of London which is not very alternative or affluent.

 

All in all I found the talk a bit of a let down but did learn about Stonewall's Different Families campaign. We watched part of film made to educate UK teachers on how to work with children who come from non-traditional families. It is to help teachers combat bullying and homophobia in schools from a young age. It was refreshing to hear teachers speak of how they never assume that a child has a mother and a father at home and that family units come in all shapes and sizes. I also liked that one teacher spoke about using the word "gay" in class, essentially normalizing the term, the fact that same sex couples exist, and that children may come from families with two moms, two dads, or more parents. Of course this is made as a teaching tool and reality probably doesn't look as positive but it does give me faith that schools are moving towards the right direction. It is so important that children and young people who identify as LGBT or have LGBT parents have a safe and supportive environment for learning.

A Positive Attitude and Affirmations (Beginner)

A few months ago a good friend introduced me to the concept of affirmations- and affirmation is anything that you do or say. There are positive and negative affirmations and in order to help yourself achieve your goals and be as happy as possible you need to change the way you speak to yourself. An example would be instead of saying "I'll never learn a new language it's too difficult" you would constantly reinforce the message "I am learning a new language." By saying and thinking positive affirmations you are opening a door within yourself and taking the first step towards your goals. The idea is that by constantly pushing the negative thoughts quickly away and replacing with a positive affirmation you reprogram the way you think and recondition yourself on the whole.

My friend gave me the book "Experience Your Good Now!" by Louise Hay and recently I've been spending time reaching parts and listening to the CD that came along with it. Although I have tried to put affirmations into practice from time to time over the past months, last night I decided to give a true go.

Immigration Equality panel in London

I recently attended a panel on binational couples and LGBT asylum seekers put on by Immigration Equality and Interlaw Diversity Forum here in London. The panel consisted of Andrew Landau from Immigration Equality, Andrew Sullivan who is a well known blogger, columnist, and author who writes on a variety of political issues and is part of binational couple, Helena Wray from Middlesex university and expert on family migration law in the UK, and S. Chelvan who is a barrister who fights for LGBT asylum seekers.

I was interested to see who would attend and possibly meet other couples in similar circumstances. There were quite a few couples, some people on their own and possibly also part of a binational couple, and several lawyers. We didn't do any networking or meet anyone but that is at least partially my fault as I felt pretty sad by the end seeing so many couples effected by this and listening to the speakers.

I really enjoyed listening to Andrew Sullivan and have been reading his blog since the panel. He has an inspiring story of fighting for his rights and ultimately winning. He also taught me about the ban on people who are HIV+ or have AIDS immigrating to the USA which was in effect until 2010. I was shocked and disgusted to find this out. Andrew is an excellent speaker and a great advocate for LGBT rights and is active in social and political issues in general. Watch how Andrew felt about attending the Immigration Equality Panel.

United by Love, Divided by Law

Out4Immigration is a organization dedicated to equal rights for LGBT couples in term of immigration to the United States. On Valentine's day they started a visual campaign via Tumblr for binational couples to post a picture or video to share their story and essentially put a face to this issue. There is not a lot of awareness around this issue so it's terribly important that there is a greater awareness about the inequalities around LGBT immigration rights.

So far there are only a few pictures and videos but I hope that people will add to it as more people find out about the campaign. Please have a look!

United by Love, Divided by Law



And here's our contribution!

LGBT immigration rights

As I wrote about a few months ago in my post titled  Binational, I wanted to look a bit further into the subject. In this post I want to explore what rights LGBT binational couples actually have at the moment and what legislation effects this.

I found a few good websites and organizations dedicated to immigration equality for the LGBT community which provides some good information for ways to try to stay or immigrate to the USA to be with their partner. Unfortunately as same-sex couples are not recognized as of yet so those immigration rights and avenues are the same as any single person wishing to immigrate to the states. Your options are basically to study, come as a tourist (but you would have to be able to prove you have good reasons to go back to your home country and having and American partner doesn't help that much), or to find a job which would sponsor you. The first two options are temporary and provide little assistance in supporting yourself and your family. Finding work in the US and convincing them to sponsor you is another can of worms that is not very easy to navigate. Of course there is also the option to enter into the green card diversity lottery every year.. but millions apply for the 50,000 spots given out annually and it really is like winning a lottery.

Gay Rights in the USA

This video has been going around the social networking sites and when I first saw the link I figured it was a news report related to gay rights in some way. I wasn't expecting such a moving and important video. I literally had tears running down my face by the end. I felt an overwhelming sadness about the hate that so many people have inside them and how that effects so many people in our country. The stories of young boys who have taken their own lives because of bullying and society constantly reinforcing that there is something wrong with them hurt me the most. I have many more emotions and thoughts to share about this but first want you to please take the time to watch this video, I think it's pretty important.

Violence Unsilenced- A survivors' blog

I stumbled across this pretty amazing website through a facebook friend. It is a blog for women who are survivors of violence. The premise of the site is really quite simple. It is a place for people to share their stories of violence and abuse in a safe and supportive way. This site was created to be a safe space for a person to write down their experiences in black and white, sometimes saying it out loud for the very first time. It is a place to get supportive comments from other survivors or just people who care. It can often be difficult to explain the complexities of abuse to friends, family members, or current partners and this platform can give someone the power to share with an audience who doesn't know them personally but can still understand their feelings and emotions. It is also for people to understand that they are not alone.

New Year's Resolutions

People generally try to make new year's resolutions at the dawning of each new year.... those who don't usually are vehemently against them as they see it as a time for people to make goals that they barely try to achieve... or there are the few that forget or just don't care enough to make a change in their lives. Usually I fall into the first category but end up the person that the second category despises,  so on this January 4th I find myself unsure of how to proceed. This year seems to be a big one in London with the Olympics coming to town and all, it also happens to be the year of my ten year high school reunion... lesser milestones would be turning 28 and a 4 year wedding anniversary.  It all feels like a lot of pressure so when my partner asks me what my resolutions are this year I find myself unable to decide. I don't want to just blurt out all of the regular things I want to change about myself but haven't yet been able to succeed but want to come up with something more... something do-able, something that will finally pull me up out of this rut. I do feel like I've made positive changes in the last year (some probably related to last years resolutions, or so I can hope!) including starting to heal some deep down emotional scars that hold me back from getting on with some of the more external goals I have for myself. So in that respect I do feel like I've taken steps to get out of this proverbial rut but I guess it's easier to gauge the more external factors in my life which I haven't been able to conquer yet.

So with some reflection, I've decided that I will have some resolutions for 2012 along with measurable steps to attain these goals. This year my resolutions will not be ones for the new year but instead for the 28th year of my life (or shall I say 29th?) so I have two weeks to fully put my thoughts together and come up with something realistic but continuing in the right direction. Here's to the 28 year old Becky getting past the writing stage and taking a few more steps to make life easier and a bit happier :)