Life is a Journey

Life is a Journey by prawkp on polyvore.com

Just a motivational picture I made for one of my clients... It's good to remember that we are in control of our own lives even though sometimes it feels like that's not the case.

Thanksgiving thanks...

Thanksgiving is a big holiday for us Americans, right up there with Christmas. It's a day to spend surrounded by family and eating ridiculous amounts of amazing food. I sadly haven't been home for thanksgiving since 2006 but luckily I have friends who help me to celebrate every year. :)

On facebook some friends are putting up something they are thankful for every day of November and I thought I would take this spirit to my post this Thanksgiving and highlight some things I am thankful for in my life.

I am thankful for my partner who is there for me through the good and the bad and who I hope to spend the rest of my life with.

I am thankful for my parents who raised me to be open-minded and that I could do anything that I set my mind to. Who are always there for any of us no matter how much we messed up.

I am thankful for my sisters and brother who, although we are all very different, I can always depend on and who are the only ones who can truly understand where I'm coming from.

I am thankful for my friends here in London because being so far away from home they have become my family here.

I am thankful for my friends back home in the states because no matter how much time passes I still feel connected and supported.

I am thankful to be doing a job that I like and to have gotten where I wanted to go. This includes being thankful for a steady income that allows me to do things I enjoy including traveling.

I am thankful for the knowledge that no matter what I will be ok because I'm surrounded by caring people and have opportunities to progress and grow.

So this Thanksgiving I hope to have good food with good people... and I hope that I can continue to be grateful every day for who I have in my life and trust myself enough to grow and always be happy.

positivity

positivity by prawkp on polyvore.com

Although I don't always enjoy the Thought of the Day by Innerspace (http://www.innerspace.org.uk/) today's was particularly inspiring. I think it is a phrase most people can do something with. I especially like that it includes holding on to successes as well as failures. I hope you get something from it too!

Vision Board

 polyvore.com

So I've completed my first vision board! I'm pretty excited about how it turned out and really enjoyed the process of putting my goals into art. It was a really nice to have some inspiration and to put these goals again in the forefront of my mind. Now I will put it somewhere I can see it every day and put a bit of positivity into my life.

Self-Care

I've had a particularly grueling past few weeks at work without a moment to reflect or even consider self-care. It's taken its toll on me physically and mentally and I know that I cannot continue on in the way it has been. I stumbled upon a blog exploring self-care today that reminded me what I definitely should have been considering all along. http://selfcarefairy.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-09-25T21%3A36%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=7

The nature of the work I do requires that I leave work at work, which of course is easier said than done. I know that I bore my partner with the negative emotions of my day because I'm not processing my feelings like I should, not thinking positively, and not making the time to take care of myself. It's the perfect concoction to lead to burn out and I'm not ready for that yet, or ever hopefully.

So two points that I'm going to start with from Shannon's blog is to write it down and to make a vision board. I need a way to let out my feelings about confidential subjects and in general just release some of the negative emotions that sneak in throughout the day. And the vision board is way for me to sort out what is important to be right now and what I want for my future which I haven't had the time to think through lately.

I'll let you know how it works! but in the meantime check out the link above because I think it's really helpful in starting a journey of self-care.

Wildlife Photographer of the Year

This weekend we went to see the Veolia Environment Wildlife Photographer of the Year Competition at the Natural History Museum. We went last year and were so in awe of the beautiful photographs that we couldn't wait to see this years. We were definitely not let down! The museum does a pretty excellent job of setting it up in the dimly lit room with back lit photos and the captions that the photographers include are pretty inspirational.

If you're in London you should definitely check it out... (Get in two for one with the southern trains brochure!) and if your not check out the website as they have some of the photos online. My favorites are the elephant foot, polar bear, baby monkey, and cuddly monkey... but there are loads of really amazing photos.

http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/whats-on/temporary-exhibitions/wpy/

Making babies

Last weekend I saw online that there was a gay lifestyle event in central London. I had no idea what it was but since we were in London anyway I thought we should stop by and check it out. It was refreshing that we found not the usual loud music, sparkles, and dating but a more routine approach to LGBT life.

This event was basically stalls with different organizations and companies that can offer services to the LGBT community including housing, children's books, holidays, hate crime services, and (most interesting to me) London Women's clinic which had information about making babies and adoption. Needless to say Lina and I got plenty of literature on the subject.

Although we're not ready to move on to that part of our life, emotionally or financially, it is something that is often on my mind. Unfortunately having a baby is much more difficult for us than the regular heterosexual couple (barring of course those with fertility issues) but it is possible, we are young, and we have choices.

Our conception choices are personal ones but I would like to touch on the fact that in things do happen for a reason. Due to circumstances beyond our control I'm living in London, UK with my partner but life surprises you in ways that you wouldn't have expected. In this instance it is that the UK laws and opportunities make it easier for lesbian couples to have a child and securing parental rights.

In 2004 the UK legalize same-sex Civil Partnerships which gives all of the same legal rights as a marriage, except being able to have the ceremony in a church, and is the reason that my partner and I are allowed to live in the UK together. In April 2009 a law went into effect (Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 2008) which allows both mothers to be on the child's birth certificate if the parents are in a Civil Partnership or conceive within a clinic. That's great news for us because it means that we don't have to go through the extra loops of 2nd parent adoption. In addition we have the choices of going through the NHS (National Health Service), a private clinic, or conceive at home and although these processes are generally still expensive the costs are significantly lower than if we went through it in the states.

Here in the UK the law is catching up with societal needs and that is comforting at a time when the USA seems to be as stagnant on LGBT issues as ever. This is especially apparent in the areas of immigration and federal acknowledgement of same-sex rights.

Here's a few links that I found helpful in about Lesbian options around conception and parental rights. Egg sharing is also something to think about around receiving IVF in order to help another family out and make your own process more affordable.

http://www.stonewall.org.uk/documents/pregnant_pause_with_cover_2.pdf
http://www.londonwomensclinic.com/
http://www.stonewall.org.uk/at_home/parenting/2625.asp

Believe in Yourself lecture

Recently I went to a lecture put on by Innerspace called Believe in Yourself: Re-Claiming your self-esteem.

I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect, I thought maybe I would have to speak in a group. I shouldn't have worried because it was instead a lecture with a couple of hundred people present. I think this was a good way to start this learning process as it allowed me to get my feet wet without feeling pressured. I was amazed by how many people were there, so many that they had to turn a lot away.

I'm very happy I went as the speaker was funny and interesting and put things in terms easy to understand. Her name was Becky (a plus!) from the Philippines and she was a happy grandmotherly woman who was easy to relate to.

She spoke quite a bit about how your inner self should be the core of your self-esteem instead of building your confidence on external factors such as appearance, job, possessions, etc. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves at any given moment and if its external factors are influencing this it means that your confidence and self belief will be constantly fluctuating. This opened my eyes a bit to the fact that the things I was letting myself get down about are pretty irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. I've always known that I need to love myself first in order to be confident and truly believe in myself but I was (and am) still connecting my self-belief to what I have accomplished instead of what makes me who I am.

I felt like the lecture provided me with a strong foundation to build on theoretically but was missing how to practically implement this into day to day life. It was definitely a refreshing change to my daily routine to listen to someone who is passionate about this way of thinking. It made me remember what I already knew and made me think about things that I had never really thought of before.

A couple of simple but important tips I took from this are...

*What is the first thought you have in the morning when you open your eyes? You will live your day how you start your day. I think this especially important for me with the difficulty I have with mornings :)

*Self-esteem by the speakers definition is about Value, Appreciation, and Honor. She said at least every day, if not more than once, you should ask yourself "What do you value about yourself?" or appreciate or honor. It is especially important when you are feeling low or a bit lost.

On the whole I feel like this lecture opened my eyes a bit more around self-reflection, positive thinking, and separating internal from external factors in my life. I think that it was a refreshing change to the what has become the monotony of my life and it has given me some tools to use invoke the changes I need in my life. I feel like I did get a lot from this experience and it has left me wanting to learn more and to really do some serious self-reflection and growth. I hope that I can keep this high for a bit and continue on this route.

Positive Thinking

Recently I feel like I've been surrounded by people who are preaching (and practicing!) the importance of positive thinking. I have always believed that positive thinking has an impact on physical health and general wellbeing. I also think that if you believe strongly in something it will work out somehow but I'm not sure to which extent I would take this.

My new manager is a big advocate for positive thinking. She told us about how she decided to apply for this job and then surrounded herself with positive thoughts and the strong belief that she will get the post. In the end this helped her to be confident in the interview and she, of course, got the job. When I asked her how she would have felt if she didn't get it, after building herself up for so long ... Her response was "I would have said it wasn't meant to be." She has a vibrant personality and had us all laughing telling us about the whole process including her vision board and seeing the color pink wherever she went. At first it was a laugh and an interesting story but later it got me thinking about what she said.

There were a couple of other occasions when she brought up positive thinking when it came to working with the residents and even when it came to dealing with our emotions towards our roles. It has had an impact on my daily working day and has made me want to explore all of this a bit more.

My friends, who are currently staying with us, are also big advocates for positive thinking. Vaida (http://www.curioussoul.com/) has followed Louise Hay (http://www.louisehay.com/)  and Science of Mind (http://www.scienceofminduk.org/)  a number of years and more recently has been getting herself involved by going to workshops, meditations, and courses. It is interesting to talk through ideas with her and Huw (http://www.degales.com/) and try to figure out where my ideas and understanding fit in. (Sorry about all the links! I want you to be able to expore too!)

To be honest I haven't read enough to have a full grasp on the concepts of positive thinking and specific ideologies that do contribute or advocate for it. I do know that at the moment I struggle with being able to accept certain aspects but I want to read and learn more before hashing those out in writing.

My manager told us about a website http://www.innerspace.org.uk/ that has a thought of the day to help you to explore yourself on a daily basis. This organization also does free courses and workshops. I signed up for my first lecture which I'll be going to tomorrow. It's called Believe in Yourself- Reclaiming your Self Esteem. Although I know it does sound a bit cheesy and I'm a bit embarrassed to say that I feel that I really need more insight in this area, I'm excited to try something new. I think it's time for some true self-reflection and learning to change my negative ways of thinking about myself and the world around. I guess I see this as a start of the journey to become the happy girl I once was and I'm willing to explore different ideas to get there. I'll let you know what I think of it!

writing a novel.. the challenge.

I have so many ideas in my head and I want to move forward with different interests but never seem to move very far forward. I was talking with my little sister last night and said something about wanting to write. She told me that she, my brother, and my mom all have similar dreams. Even to the point of making bets about who will be published first. It's not surprising considering the values of education and reading my mom instilled in us, all four of us kids and my mom are avid readers.

My sister told me about a challenge that she is pushing my mom to do. It's called National Novel Writing Month and the goal is to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. From what I gather, it's the quantity and not quality that counts and its purpose is to get you writing without getting lost in the editing and tearing apart. The website is: http://www.nanowrimo.org/  I like the idea behind it and want to give it a try. The one part I'm leery of is uploading your novel at the end to be counted... as I don't think I'm trusting enough for that.

So let's see how it goes...and if it is even possible to write so many words while trying to study and working full time.. but I'm staying positive and not going to count myself out before I've started!

On a side note... I feel sad about missing out on so much with my family but am proud to come from such a creative and inspiring background. It also reminded me of how supportive my parents and siblings have always been and remember this when trying to find my confidence again.